I have attended hundreds of meetings.  Those that we plan and produce for our clients and those that educate and promote the growth of our industry.  I’ve learned a lot at these meetings. But, I have to admit; one of the most inspiring meetings for me is our own BKA Mid-Year Meeting.

Every summer, we gather our entire team for a couple of days outside of the office (and outside of the city) to communicate our strategy and illustrate the big picture on where we are as a company, where we are going, and most importantly– how we are going to get there.  The agenda is chock full, but we also make sure there is some time for us to relax and enjoy each other’s company (and check our emails, of course.)

My favorite part of the meeting, by far, is when we announce the recipient of the Dramatically Different Award.  The Dramatically Different Award recognizes and honors the BKA employee who has best embodied our values during the past year.  It’s our chance to acknowledge the person whose diligence and good humor make the work we do that much easier and that much more enjoyable.  They always seem to put others before themselves.  Their positive attitude, kind spirit and generous nature shape who we are as a company and who we would like to be as individuals.

The best part is that the staff determines who will win the award.  A ballot is sent to everyone with open-ended questions about the candidate of their choice and the winner is kept secret until the presentation.

This year, we invited past winners to help present the award by sharing their thoughts about the current winner.  And, with genuine appreciation and grace, Laura Peña, from our design team, accepted the award.  Congratulations again, Laura.  You help make us who we are.

Life is a series of events, and I’m grateful that I have dramatically different individuals surrounding me for mine.

Laura accepting her well deserved award.

“Shouldn’t we put the word ‘event’ in there somewhere?” I asked.

“What about meetings, incentives or entertainment?” Lynnette asked, “or should we just keep it simple?”

“How about your last name, my last name and another word for anyone else we’ll get to work with. And…your last name sounds better before my last name….so let’s go with that.” I suggested, “Barkley Kalpak Associates.”

“I think we sound like a law firm but maybe it will just sound professional and it will allow us to be flexible. We can always explain what we do,” Lynnette added.

“What ARE we doing anyway??” we both wondered.

Good question.

20 years ago, my friend Lynnette Barkley and I marched ourselves down to the Hall of Records and registered the name Barkley Kalpak Associates. Next, we went to the bank and with a $5 bill, opened a checking account. That was the beginning. We were theatre people — creative types who thought we could bring something new and different to the meetings, incentives and event industry. BKA was going to be a side job, an endeavor to support us in between our directing careers.

Our first job lead to the next….and the next. Some great press (thank you Successful Meetings Magazine!), word of mouth and referrals kept bringing us more business. Before we knew it, we were BKA-ing more and more. The opportunities presented themselves and we seized them eagerly and appreciatively. The part-time side job was transitioning into a fulltime business.

Back then, it was just the two of us doing everything ourselves. We worked out of Lynnette’s living room, then my bedroom and then sometime later, a real office. We were writing, directing, casting, costuming, booking travel, carrying props, climbing on ladders, calling the shows…whatever it took to get the job done right.

Today BKA has evolved into a full team of the most fantastic people I could ever imagine working with. We have an impressive list of clients. And people actually know that we aren’t a law firm.

We turned 20 this year. And without much fanfare we’ve found ourselves in an industry that has changed faster than you can say experiential marketing.  We’ve grown up in this industry. We’re proud of being a part of it. Thrilled that we were so welcomed by it 20 years ago and honored that clients still want to have the BKA experience today.

You never really know where your life is going to take you. I had no idea that the $5 investment we made back in 1990 would bring us this successful company.

Life is a series of events and if you stay flexible, you may just end up producing a lot of them…

Our Very First Event

Change. I’ve been thinking about it… a lot. On an everyday level, I look at the world we live in now and how quickly things are changing around us. On a personal level, I am watching my parents, now in their mid-eighties, having to leave their home of 50-odd years to move into an assisted living facility. Everything around them is changing their health, their environment, their friends. And, as I find us reversing roles -me the parent, they the children- I have been thinking about what it means to accept change.

Human beings by nature resist change. Remember the first day of summer camp -terrified, calling in tears, begging your parents to bring you home? But of course, two days later, as you sit happy and prune-ey fingered in the swimming pool with your newly found BFFs, you don’t even think to call home at all.

Why is going from the known to the unknown so frightening to us? It shouldn’t be. The truth is we are changing minute-by-minute with each breath, each movement, each thought. Who we are today is not who we were yesterday and certainly not who were last year or ten years ago. The cycle of change is part of the cycle of life.

Easy to say, but harder to accept when potential life changes are staring you in the face! There will always be an element of sadness. But, if we can take a moment, meditate on the situation, step away from the knee jerk reaction and genuinely listen to our heart and our collective experiences with change, we can learn to see it as something positive.

Life is a series of events. And embracing change will ultimately allow us to experience these events with more joy, more grace and more peace. And, just as important, it will allow us to see the possibilities in each situation so that we can make the best choices as we face life’s challenges. I don’t recall who said it, but I think this may be my new philosophy . . .

“Change is the essence of life. Be willing to surrender what is for what could be.”

Oh, by the way, I’m told that my parents, after a week of disorientation and asking when they could “go home,” are at the moment sitting happily with their newly found friends, participating in a sing-a-long. Just like the days of being a kid who’s having a blast at camp, my dad didn’t even think to call…

This week’s post is by guest blogger, Lynnette Barkley.

I just got back from a trip to India.  Being there was beyond my imagination.  It was a trip of extremes, that ended up being the most emotional vacation I have ever had.

I found myself in tears at 3 different points of the journey, for 3 different reasons.

I fought back the tears after we left a tiny village en route to Jaipur from Agra.  It’s impossible to avoid the poverty that pervades many areas of the country.  We were told that one way to give back was to offer supplies such as pens, pencils, crayons and markers to school children.  We asked our driver, Santosh, to take us to a school where we could give out the 200 some odd writing implements we brought from home.  He knew of a small village school that was in need.  I was humbled by the children’s excitement, awestruck by their beautiful faces and shattered by the reminder that we have so much more than we need.  I got to hand out the pens to each of the students.  We got back in the car and the tears flowed.

I teared up for a different reason when we arrived at the Taj Lake Palace Hotel in Udaipur.  Quite simply, the finest hotel experience I have ever had.  The beauty of the place took my breath away.  I couldn’t believe what I was seeing.  It actually got me choked up when we were escorted to our suite and I saw the splendor of this magnificent property.  And, the service we encountered the next five days was even more stunning.

I lost it one last time on the way to the airport in Mumbai to get on the plane to come home.  I called our ground agent, Saleem, from India Travel Promotions Ltd., to thank him for the incredible arrangements he made for us.  We had postponed our trip twice due to ever changing work schedules — Saleem had to rebook our full itinerary three different sets of dates. The entire time leading up to the trip I was blown away by his kindness and patience.   And, once in India, we felt cared for even more.   Every member of Saleem’s staff was more impressive than the next — from the efficient airport greeters, to the intrepid drivers, to the passionate tour guides.  I wanted Saleem to know how much we appreciated everyone.  After I thanked him, in true Indian fashion, the call ended with him thanking me.  ”Thank you for the honor of allowing us to show you our country.”   I hung up the phone, and wiped away more tears in realizing my two weeks in India was coming to a close.

I fell in love with India — the difficult things to witness, the dazzling things to see and the people throughout the country who touched us in a profound way.  I urge you to visit.  I will happily point you in the direction of great experiences.  No photo or movie or blog entry can capture its essence.

I leave you with this thought…

“The use of traveling is to regulate imagination by reality, and instead of thinking how things may be, to see them as they are.” –Samuel Johnson

The funny thing is, when you return from a trip where you have witnessed the way things are, rather than regulated, your imagination is unleashed.

My friend, Elizabeth Beskin posted a great blog about Valentine’s Day (http://www.albumboutique.com/blog/valentines-day-means/) and it reminded me about enduring relationships. The best marriage I’ve ever seen was definitely my beloved parents. If they were both still alive today they would have been married for 70 years!

I always marveled at the way they always seemed in sync with each other. My Mom doted on my Dad, cooked his favorite foods, kept an immaculate home and always let him know that she loved him very much. They would leave notes for each other, hold hands as they would walk to mail a letter at the corner mailbox, and they would always kiss each other hello and goodbye.

Every so often they would dance in our living room. And that’s when you would see that they really were perfectly in sync with each other. They always made each other smile. And no matter what, they always seemed to put the other person first. In doing so, their time together was filled with gratitude, respect and love. Their life wasn’t always easy. They faced many tragedies and hardships, but they did it together.

When my mom passed away — we watched my father’s heart break into a million pieces. And the last few years of his life without his love — though filled with family and friends — weren’t ever the same.

I hope that you get to dance with the one you love at many events — or maybe even just around the living room.

Happy Belated Valentine’s Day.

He was my first boss.

Fresh out of college he gave me a job in his PR firm.  I showed up for my interview in shorts and a T shirt.  What was I thinking?!  Yet, he gave me a chance.

I learned about deadlines, client changes, customer service.  I learned that while there is no such thing as bad PR, there is such a thing as a great PR person.  He was the consummate professional and the consummate gentleman.  He bought me my first business suit.

Over time, he decided to move to the west coast.  He kept me on a retainer and put me in charge of the New York business.  I ran the office out of my apartment.  I had a copy machine in my closet to crank out the press releases.  Fast forward — I went into Special Events.  Then started my own events company.

He retired.  He got older — quickly.  We stayed in touch — mostly through his incredible letters, whenever possible — with visits.  He let me know when more of his friends died. His physical health declined.   He had no funds left — and no family. No one.  He appointed me his Power of Attorney.  He moved to an assisted living center in DC.  Then his mind started to go.

We moved him to a nursing home twenty minutes away so we could be closer.   My mentor, my friend helped me become an adult.  Now it was my turn to help him through old age.   He was always so busy working that he never really planned for his future. And when he stopped working, he tried to live in the moment and not worry about the next day.

Life is a series of events.  As event producers, we try to plan everything.  But how many of us have planned for our future?  Or are we just busy planning the next event?

Set aside time to really look at what lies ahead.  For you, for your family and for your loved ones.   It’s easier to have the difficult conversations early.  And while plans can change, it’s comforting to know that at least you have a plan.  You would never go on site without a running order for the event — why would you want to go through life that way?